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Friday, December 10th, 2010
10:19 am - Always on my mind
Place hasn't changed much, people here sure have though. I'm kinda ticked 'Ro didn't think to call, give me a heads up. Wonder where she's at and if she went alone, didn't think to ask Kitty or Cassidy that. I'll ask 'em tomorrow.

Back in I guess what would be considered my room, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling like it owed me somethin'. Tired as hell, can't sleep though. Too much is comin' to my mind being here. Remembering the first time I woke up in this place. So many memories stored within these walls. The only memories I got.

Even this room held memories. Like the night Marie came to check on me, she shoulda stayed put. There's only a handful of times in my life that I've been scared. That night is the first on the list. I remembered every second from the point my eyes opened, the rage taking over and then the look of shock on her face as she realized her mistake. Could only imagine what the scared shitless look on my face looked like.

And then she damn near killed me.

Made it a little better wakin' up in that infirm'ry to that face and all that red hair again. Even if I did feel like I'd been hit head on by a Mack truck. Those memories swarmed in my head like a bunch angry bees.

Everything was quiet in the mansion though, save for some light snoring coming from about three doors down. I turned on my side, no blankets, no shirt, just some sweatpants. That didn't help shut off my head though. Now it was that night here when Stryker and his men invaded the place. The first time I got a real glimpse of my past, if not foggy. But at least this made sense. Somehow I knew that man held the key to who I was, but he'd never give it up.

Then just like that I was at Alkali, boarding that plane and I was paralyzed as I watched everything happen and Jean was gone for the first time. Scott went into a down spiral.. and so did I. But I had to keep mine bottled up, no one would be sympathetic and I didn't give a damn. But Cyke was going through real pain and as much as I hated him, I wouldn't shit all over that.

I growled lowly, the next ones I wish I didn't have. The professor was gone, and Jean was the one responsible. I'd barely held the rage back, but that was because Storm was there. Again, her pain was more severe than mine, I couldn't fall apart. I wouldn't.

Then finally, there I was on that mountain of rubble, staring her down. It was Jean, at least her body, but it wasn't in any other way. Stubbornness pushed me on. Pain I'd never felt before as she used her powers, ripping my flesh off me with her mind right down to my shiny bones until I reached her. I had her and she begged me, and it was Jean down to the core it was her. She pleaded and I couldn't ignore her.

And to this day when I think about it I can still feel the ghost of her flesh around my claws as I impaled her on them. Didn't realize they had really popped out in the hear and now, embedded in the headboard. She had to be in pain, but the look of sheer peace on her face is the last memory I allow to go through my head. I knew I'd done right, even if I had ripped my own heart out.

But I was the Wolverine, and my wounds heal over. Except for ones on the inside. But I'm pretty good at pretendin'.

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Saturday, November 14th, 2009
8:49 pm
Answers. That's what I was lookin' for. Don't know what the hell made me think I'd find them in Budapest though. I needed a bit of a break from my life back at the school, told 'Ro I'd be back when I was ready. Hell, I was half shocked I didn't get a lightning bolt in my ass for that one. So far I'd been through a few countries, some of them sparked up memories. None of them good. Each one was a battlefield, so real I could smell the blood and gunpowder.

So far no memories here though, not even a glimmer of a recollection. Tell the truth, it was kinda a relief. Didn't know where the hell I was going and that was refreshing too. Cold as hell, that was for sure. Even through my boots, jeans, two shirts and my jacket I could feel the bite of it. Made my bones hurt, figured that was because of the metal plating getting cold.

People were in a rush all around me as I mounted the stairs to the subway. Hell, this place made the subways back in New York look clean. The tile was stained and dirty, the smells alone nearly gagged me. It's moment's like this I thank some higher power for the cigar between my teeth masking the awful stench.

Once I hit the bottom of the stairs someone bumped into me. Now usually I brush that kinda thing off because bumping into me could knock someone flat on their ass. Not this guy, he had some power behind him, one sniff was all it took to tell me he wasn't human. Nowhere even close to one either. Smelled more like a wet damn dog if you ask me. Oh well, none of my business, though I was wantin' ta knock his block off for that nudge.

Right now all I wanted to do was get to the hotel I'd been staying at and collapse in bed for a few hours. I leaned against the tiled column, waiting for my train, puffing on my cigar. Minding my own business, staying out of the way, calling no attention to myself at all, but what the hell happens? Some asshole opens fire in the place, one bullet hit the tile beside my head, a jagged piece of it putting a good slice in my cheek.

If I wasn't pissed about being bumped into earlier I was furious now. Blood dripped down the side of my face, and all the damn screaming was driving me crazy. That smell was back and I saw my buddy from earlier. Seems there was a bit of a battle going on between him and whoever the hell was behind me shooting. Turns out turning around to ponder about that was not the wisest move on my part.

Everything went black, I felt each and every bullet as it hit my body, one ricocheted off the metal which was a particularly pleasant experience if I do say so myself. I hit the ground and only hoped someone didn't kick my body onto the tracks. I'd never been hit by a train before and I damn sure didn't wanna feel what regenerating from that felt like anytime soon.

Wasn't out for long, bullets were still flying when I came to, but not for long. I heard someone running and was on my feet. As I started after them I saw a body, a man maybe in his mid to late twenties. Poor bastard. I caught a flash of black in the corner of my eye down the tunnel and took off after it. My nose told me it was no longer just my pal from earlier.. but there was a woman too. This could get interesting. One thing was for sure, someone was gonna have an ass kickin' comin' their way for gettin' me involved.

Shaking my head I crossed the tiled floor and leaned against a column

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Sunday, January 4th, 2009
4:18 pm - Not sure if this is gonna be a one shot deal or not
Hmm can anyone guess who this is for? Anyone at all?

Well anyways, has nothing to do with RP, though it'd be a blasty blast to play out. Anywho, sorta did this for someone. You know who you are and well you better appreciate it or I will pelt you with gummy bears! ;-) Enjoy! Not sure if I'm gonna continue it or not. We'll see.

The beginning )

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Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
9:22 pm
What once was lost, now is found. )

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Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
10:02 pm - What if...
An untold story in the history of the Wolverine )

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9:14 pm
It's in first person because the muse wanted to write that way. So it couldn't be posted on the comm. Besides, it's a bit of a personal nature for him so it's best kept in his journal. It has to do with his relationship with Selene, if that doesn't interest you don't bother reading.

Figurin' things out )

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Thursday, August 21st, 2008
7:05 pm
Fan fic
Rating: NC-17 (for the *whispers* sex)
Note: Someone presented me with an idea, I took it as a challenge. It may suck, it may not. As it is I've decided to use a little of his past from another journal to write this because it's easier for me seeing as he's more flushed out there. This is more like a present for someone anyway. Enjoy your gift. I'll expect one of my own in return ;-)

It all started with a phone call )

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Tuesday, June 24th, 2008
12:15 pm - Fan fic
Logan torture. If you don't like seeing him emo and fucked up this ficlet is not for you. Do not click on the cut and pretend you didn't even see it. However if you aren't all about happy endings, proceed. )

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